Turkish Delight is the new Continuum Transfunctioner (Part 1 - the failures)

Turkish Delight....is an evasive and not so simple beastie, however I have decided that I will keep chasing after this elusive unicorn until I at least understand it and get to behold it's...Delight.

Okay, so here is the romance - the concept of this candy is that it is supposed to be so good that Edmund asked for it from the White Witch in trade for selling out his siblings. Thus, to a Midwestern white girl that has never left the western hemisphere it gains the status of the Continuum Transfunctioner - it's mystery is only exceeded by it's power. That being said, Edmund is a selfish twit...but I don't care, I wanna try this Turkish Delight.

The concept of Turkish Delight, or Lokum is that it is supposed to be sweet and melts in your mouth. It generally doesn't keep well, but that can be remedied by coating it in chocolate (Not today folks, not today), and is a combo of flavor + sugar + starch. Many of the flavorings I saw featured Rosewater or Orange Blossom...and while I love the concept, uhhhhhh...I am limited. I do not have a stock of Rosewater or Orange Blossom, soooooo, that won't be happening, but I can do a lively Orange flavor, or dabble with a few other similar flavors. Some folks mix in nuts or dust it in coconut but I say lets try crawling first before we walk....but seriously, we all know that eventually I am going to go there and do that and make some crazy flavor combo.


I started off using the following recipe:
http://www.persistentcharm.com/home/blood-orange-turkish-delight

I liked this recipe because overall, it was pretty darn straight forward - kudos. However, I would add that when you are reading your instructions, you actually need Orange Juice twice - 1 cup from the zested oranges that you are going to squeeze for their juice and an additional 2 1/2 cups for the cornstarch/powdered sugar combo.

Attempt #1
The recipe was followed, and because we were out of Orange Juice, we used the 2 1/2 cups of water and we zested the hell out of our blood oranges. So the first time making it - fell flat on its fucking face - BOOM! Like, it came out so bad that my chickens won't even eat it and they eat dead mice. When the recipe talks about Jelly like....they don't mean the jelly that you spread over your toast, which was my misunderstanding. I rushed it off the stove thinking, "Eureka!!!" and cackling like a mad scientist. The next day when I tried it out, I was a bit more of a Dr. Horrible after one of his inventions failed to perform as he had imagined.

Sigh...the unicorn evades. The final result was like a nameless fruit goo. It had no constitution and it tasted like faintly orange cornstarch. Gross.

Attempt #2
Ok, so this time I had a better point on my map of what I definitely did not want and how I got to where I did not want to be. It is something.

Using the same recipe, I made a few tweaks. I used Heirloom Oranges (Kroger had a bag of them on sale, so why not?) that are pretty juicy and sweet, and I ended up using 6 of those since they were smaller than a Blood Orange and those bad lads were all zested and juiced till they had nothing left but pith to give. This time, we used Orange Juice instead of water (do this it is a good idea).

So we boiled the syrup until it reached 260 degrees Fahrenheit, which by the way takes both a substantial amount of time and causes the syrup to bubble over way worse than pasta ever could. We mixed it into the cornstarch/powdered sugar combo and began stirring. Constantly stirring is important for two reasons, one it keeps it from burning (Great Idea!), and secondly it keeps the mixture continuously releasing steam which develops the consistency. You are not aiming for a temperature at this stage anymore, but for a texture that has constitution enough to hold shape when it is cut but not be a hard candy. To give you an idea, apparently Turkish Delight was the inspiration behind the jelly centers of a jelly bean (according to Google and the Internet...which is never wrong).

Thinking that I had the consistency figured out, I poured my Turkish Delight and hoped that once it set up and cooled, I would have my unicorn. Notice how on the spatula, it was able to form a peak? (By the way, in the recipe it calls for a greased pan lined with parchment paper....I did not grease the pan, because parchment paper does not stick to a pan, so the grease seemed pointless....unless I was supposed to grease the parchment paper?!)

NOPE. Still wrong. But, I was able to cut these and they held shape and could be picked up gently....but were a bit weak willed.

It held its form when cut, and as far as the flavor goes....pretty damn good, solid Orange flavor and it was not overly sweet, however truth be told, I am not a fan of the cornstarch flavor.

So in theory, this is what it should look like as a finished product. Brightly colored, fruit, and covered in powdered sugar (or cornstarch....but there is no way that is happening with me).

Soooooooooooooo..................

The fixation continues, and Turkish Delight remains the Continuum Transfunctioner, mysterious and a powerful pain in the (insert expletive). I am going to get this right, and I am going to see if I can make this without cornstarch, because yuck.

A Bipolar Baker?!

Good afternoon,

This is my baking blog (obviously), and since it is mine, it will inherently have fused within it my mental health because we go hand-in-hand. I am owning it.

I am: Bipolar I, Borderline Personality Disorder, ADHD, and PTSD.

I only ever discuss the PTSD aspect of myself because there tends to be a different flavor of stigma with PTSD than there is with Bipolar/Borderline/ADHD.....so I don't talk about those parts of me. Thus, the problem. I should, I need to because they are just as much a part of me. I am often told, "But Kristine! You are like the sanest person that I know! I just can't really believe that you are crazy."

Well, thanks...sort of. Uhhhhhhhhhh....my "crazy" doesn't show like you see in a movie. Well....it has on very rare occasions, and I am DEEPLY embarrassed about those moments - so we aren't going to talk about them on a public blog okay? More so, my crazy tends to show in my actions - once you step back and look at the big picture, not at the specific action. I tend to make my specific actions quite logically, and I rely heavily on logic and being rational as a means of curbing the bite of my mental health. It sorta works.....

I know what it feels like before a Manic episode is about to surge, and a Depressive episode and I mostly try to work with them and let them flow through socially acceptable channels. I channel my mania into things that have a productive value, like baking and cleaning and organizing to keep myself from spending $200 on whatever I am fixated on....and then having that become Project #2343 that I started because I was being grandiose about it, and then never finished it because I was in over my head and self-doubt came and beat me like the Whomping Willow, so I abandoned whatever project since I couldn't get it PERFECT like I imagined in my head. My depression tends to show as biting sarcasm and brutal bluntness morphed into comedy so that I can cope....because if I can't find a way to make this shit funny; then there is a problem and its probably a dangerous one.

Thus baking.

Who doesn't love fresh baked goods? The magic of baking is that it requires understanding and a skill set, and if it fails - there are specific reasons why it fails....and once the baking has begun, the final product is mostly out of my control past that moment (except for burning it, that is in my control). Even if I FUBAR whatever it is, generally I can morph it into another item. Thank you Food Network and the shows Chopped and Cutthroat Kitchen for teaching me that thought process.

The thing is, I go on baking benders. Either, I don't bake anything for days/weeks.......or I bake EVERY new idea I saw on Pinterest. There really isn't an in between. So updates to this blog will likely be much the same. I also tend to fixate on new skills and make copious amounts of whatever it is, while trying to get it exactly the way I want it. Then I will enjoy a bite, and give the rest of it away because I don't want it anymore.  What? I told you I was Bipolar, this is my Bipolar and I just try to work with it because it is real and it is there.

Also, I only started actually baking in December 2016. It is currently March 31st, 2017. That means: I am still pretty new to this, I am not a baking sage, there are methods that I have not tried and likely will produce different/better results, take everything I say with a grain of salt and the understanding that this is what works for Me and that I am not You.